Why am I so fragile?
I tried to get the car taxed this morning but I’m missing the log book, without it they cannot tax my car. So, on advice I need to go to the DVLA in Sheffield and pay £25 for a new one, when I have that I can then, over the counter, get a tax disc.
So why the fragile statement? I was in the post office trying to understand why, with the SORN document, the MOT and my insurance certificate they couldn’t just look up the registration number of the car and pull up the details – hey presto! It appears this is not possible; they need the log book because it states me as the owner, the SORN is not enough. So knowing that I need two new front tyres and a tax disc before Monday… I felt myself welling up!
Had this situation occurred a while ago I would have calmly thought to myself ‘how do I resolve this’!
Certainly I’ve been in tougher situations!
I’m not afraid to admit the last 9 months have been the worst on my record but I’ve never been fragile before. NEVER. In fact I have historically been accused of being overtly strong, determined, focused, independent, capable, tough and by some people ‘intimidating’!
Now I have the term ‘needy’ thrown at me which is ironic!
Why, after leaving home and looking after myself for 20 years (6 years looking after my husband), am I fragile now? I’ve worked and travelled around Europe predominately on my own, I’ve been a company director, and I have managed large and small teams, dealt with difficult situations and always come out with a positive attitude. Nothing.
NOW
I can’t even go into a post office and be told I can’t have a tax disc without wanting to cry… I was even agitated in the queue…. This is madness isn’t it? Am I going mad?
When does this disappear, when can I wake up and be whole and complete again?
… I’m not broken and I don’t need fixing… I’m not broken and I don’t need fixing…
Thursday, 5 March 2009
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
For god sake please don’t read this…
For god sake please don’t read this…
…was the last thing Aubrey Heckster wrote before inserting the pencil into Margery Hecksters buttocks! She’d been dead for 3 hours and the first signs of rigour mortis had set in. For sixty years he’d listened to her screeching, filthy, wretched potty mouth and for the first time, in his now befuddled memory, it was quiet; the kind of quiet you assume deaf people live in.
He scratched his nose and sniffed, instantly wishing he hadn’t.
With a sigh Aubrey creaked to his feet, shuffled to the kitchen and washed his hands with Fairy Liquid. He sniffed his fingers, nodded and satisfied went back to Margery absently drying his hands on a kitchen towel.
She lay there like a blow up doll; her arms outstretched, eyes and mouth wide open in a look of guilty surprise - pencil firmly sticking out her backside. He started to chuckle, the chuckle turned into a laugh and before long he was howling, near doubled over with mirth, tears streaming down his face.
It took him a good few minutes to regain composure, the odd involuntary giggle threatening to break his control, taking deep breaths he steadied himself on the back of a chair and wiped his eyes with the kitchen towel. Aubrey spun the chair around 180 degrees to sit purposefully and work out a plan when he suddenly realised he didn’t have a pencil!
…was the last thing Aubrey Heckster wrote before inserting the pencil into Margery Hecksters buttocks! She’d been dead for 3 hours and the first signs of rigour mortis had set in. For sixty years he’d listened to her screeching, filthy, wretched potty mouth and for the first time, in his now befuddled memory, it was quiet; the kind of quiet you assume deaf people live in.
He scratched his nose and sniffed, instantly wishing he hadn’t.
With a sigh Aubrey creaked to his feet, shuffled to the kitchen and washed his hands with Fairy Liquid. He sniffed his fingers, nodded and satisfied went back to Margery absently drying his hands on a kitchen towel.
She lay there like a blow up doll; her arms outstretched, eyes and mouth wide open in a look of guilty surprise - pencil firmly sticking out her backside. He started to chuckle, the chuckle turned into a laugh and before long he was howling, near doubled over with mirth, tears streaming down his face.
It took him a good few minutes to regain composure, the odd involuntary giggle threatening to break his control, taking deep breaths he steadied himself on the back of a chair and wiped his eyes with the kitchen towel. Aubrey spun the chair around 180 degrees to sit purposefully and work out a plan when he suddenly realised he didn’t have a pencil!
Maybe baby
I have Britney Spears revolving around the vast catacombs of my brain causing all sorts of problems concentrating.
Price check on Prune Juice
An alternative to regulating your bowel movements, other than prune juice, is trying to get Employment Support. I first came across this new age remedy when I was recently made redundant. A friend from the CCCS suggested I call them and within a matter of minutes my life long relationship with IBS was over!
These clever people have also invented a softer form of toilet paper – the SSP1.
So can I please acknowledge and appreciate all those wonderful people at the Job Centre. Well done you, I was beginning to think I didn't have enough effluent in my life until you came along :)
These clever people have also invented a softer form of toilet paper – the SSP1.
So can I please acknowledge and appreciate all those wonderful people at the Job Centre. Well done you, I was beginning to think I didn't have enough effluent in my life until you came along :)
Miff Studios
"About Miff Studios"
Mum has a new website, finally joining the online revolution. I'm thrilled to bits and so incredibly proud or her and her work. Commission your own original artwork or pet portrait... something new, exciting, unique and beautiful...
www.miffstudios.co.uk
Mum has a new website, finally joining the online revolution. I'm thrilled to bits and so incredibly proud or her and her work. Commission your own original artwork or pet portrait... something new, exciting, unique and beautiful...
www.miffstudios.co.uk
Monday, 2 March 2009
move on gentlemen please, there's nothing to see
I've been separated now for 9 glorious months. I've no regrets other than the obvious one of putting up with a money grabbing leech for 6 years... not bitter just Murphy's
I've made some friends since the shift which has been lovely, sad and sometimes upsetting.
I have a wonderful ‘friend for life’ whom I cherish dearly, someone untouchable I fell in love with but can't have and a confidant who's happy to give me the odd reality 'slap' every now and again when needed.
It’s been a very tough 9 months; deaths in the family, a decision I made which will haunt me for the rest of my life (I'm still not ready to look that full in the face) and the crumbling of consistency.
The move to Weston for me is an opportunity to draw a line under what’s happened and create a solid platform to launch from. Launch is such an exciting word; it opens so many possibilities :)
I’m ready to move. I’m more ready for this than anything I’ve ever done.
I've made some friends since the shift which has been lovely, sad and sometimes upsetting.
I have a wonderful ‘friend for life’ whom I cherish dearly, someone untouchable I fell in love with but can't have and a confidant who's happy to give me the odd reality 'slap' every now and again when needed.
It’s been a very tough 9 months; deaths in the family, a decision I made which will haunt me for the rest of my life (I'm still not ready to look that full in the face) and the crumbling of consistency.
The move to Weston for me is an opportunity to draw a line under what’s happened and create a solid platform to launch from. Launch is such an exciting word; it opens so many possibilities :)
I’m ready to move. I’m more ready for this than anything I’ve ever done.
Sunday, 1 March 2009
times they are a changing...
I had a lovely day today, walking through the dales with some good company. It was nice to let the wind blow through me; I get the same sense of calm when I’m walking along my sisters’ beach at Sand Bay. I’m ready to move, I’m ready for a reinvention and a life change. I’ve done so much but it’s time I did for me.
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